For so long a time, I have lived my life just surviving, work, earn money, marriage, family, life pressure and so on. I get so worked out that I forget how to live and enjoy the good and basic things that God have given me. So carried away with the pressures of life that surviving seems to be the only option, living is not in view.
Health gone, laughter a scarce commodity, family just hanging together no intimacy, bills pilling up and my whole world seems to be caving-in. Then I met a friend diagnosed with stage 3 Myeloma. (Myeloma is the cancer of the bone marrow, stage 3 is actually the terminal stage). He said “I spent so much time worrying and trying to fix what I could not, I carried too many burdens than am meant to so much that my health paid the price and I did not even notice but now with the little time I have am going to live. I will laugh more, worry less, be happy, eat good food and help more. Travel, go to beaches, spend time with my loved ones and do what I never use to do”
Driving home that day, I thought to myself, does it have to get to this stage before I realize the damage am doing to myself, i tried what i have never done before, get out of my thought and pay attention to what is happening around. The screaming, shouting, arguments and the noise in the traffic and I had a good laugh after a very long time.
over the weekend, I went to the village, it was so good to hear birds croaking, crickets chirping, relaxed by the gentle stream flowing and basically enjoy nature. It felt really good and I feel alive again, then I remembered what Maya Angelou said
My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive, and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style — Maya Angelou
A very good friend of mine (I will call his name Kevin) had stroke some months to his 42nd birthday and for 3 years now had been bed-ridden. Kevin was a hard working young man, married with 3 kids. He never took time out to rest or enjoyed is hard earned money, whenever I talked to him about rest, his health and vacation, his response was always “I don’t need rest, am a young man, there is nothing wrong with me, am fine, I need to earn more money. I that your story too, we work so hard that a little time off to rest and relax seems too big a luxury to afford. Danielle Dyball said this in one of her post on Huffpost
Our schedules are too full and because of it our health and relationships are suffering. Creating margin means knowing that if a meeting is scheduled for 60 minutes, you block off 90 minutes on your calendar;: allowing travel time, time to catch up with colleagues, and time to not rush. It means creating white space on your calendar where nothing is scheduled and you have 15 minutes to think, to do nothing but contemplate the day, your work, life. It means not being rushed 24/7, it means giving yourself time to breathe throughout the day. Danielle Dyball Dec 4, 2017. Huffpost
Here are some simple recommendations on how not to survive but thrive which have been very helpful for me. Adapted from Danielle Dyball
- Create art: What to you have to offer the world around you (your passion). It could be helping a friend to design or decorate their home, event planning, cooking and so on, that is your art, so do it.
- Create beauty inside out, now this is not talking about spending money on buying expensive decorations, no, enjoy the beauty created by nature. It brings peace, serenity, emotional and mental balance and thus inspires you to create your own beauty
- Exhude Love, be selfless and sacrificial. spend time with your loved ones and never take them for granted.
- Be happy, play more, relax more, have fun. Go to movies, dancing class. Do more stuff that will help you to laugh more. learn to put your phone down and enjoy the life around you.
- Breathe and create margins.
In life, I have seen too many people walking as if the weight of the world is hanging on their shoulders, relax, the world will continue long after you are gone, take a break and enjoy life because life is beautiful.
Remember: Nothing can bring you peace but yourself, Dale Carnegie, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
Jewels in the Desert 